Thursday, September 21, 2006

Achan

I miss my father today. I miss him whenever I am in some kind of dilemma. My father and I have had a special kind of relationship. I always pour out all my troubles to my mother. She cries with me, gets angry, happy, irritated with me. In short she empathises all my emotions. But my father, a man of few words has always been able to calm me in more ways than one. Achan in his own quiet way tells me many things which I already know but unfortunately tend to overlook in my hyper-sensitive state. It's amazing how a man who shows his emotions very scarcely can evoke so much emotion from people around him. Achan has a clear way of thinking. His reasoning is so good that when he reasons with me, I feel I have been too silly. He has been hurt innumerable times by so many around him. But he is still as gullible and forgiveable as ever. After all, he forgives me for saying so many nasty things to him. I have learnt a lot from my father. This does not mean I am blind to his flaws. But his inherent goodness overshadows all his flaws. I miss him because I am feeling very frustrated. I just wish I was a kid again and achan just fixes everything for me. I wish all of us had an option where we could go back to where we feel comfortable or happy. I miss him because I am feeling scared for taking a step. I don't like to make a decision. I want achan's assurance that everything will be alright. I miss him because everybody around me seems too caught up in their own world to spare me a few minutes. I miss him for all the coffees I missed out in the past months. I miss for all the times I get hurt and cannot turn to him for solace. Bottomline is- I just miss him. I cannot wait to get home and have a sparring with my father. Achan is a fine father, a loyal friend, a good son and brother but above all he always strives to be a good human being. In his simple ways he tries to teach us many things. Many of his qualities-most of all his temper is what I have but I hope one day to reach his level of understanding.....till then I will have to make do with his favourite line, "Don't worry, everything will be alright molu". Yes, I too hope so acha.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Confidence

“You can never do this”, I am told
Do I dare believe this?
Why is this self-doubt creeping into my mind?
Does growing up have to be so painful?
But wait, I see a light somewhere
Is the balance tilting in my favor?
I need to get up
I need to awake from my slumber
My time has come
And nothing can stop me
I can clearly see my goal
So please you people
Support me in my dream
Help me reach the stars
Believe in me

This was a poem I wrote for an event. I do not know its worth. But it sure does convey what I had in mind....