Mood swings

One never realises the value of something till it ceases to exist.I say this in the context that before I came down to study in the States,I would go for days without speaking a word to anybody.I just was so tensed up,I wanted to shut out the whole world.Now when I am craving for some familiar company,voila..I am all ALONE.Loneliness can be a very depressing emotion- if not by choice.The phrase- "All alone in a crowd" seems to fit.I am surrounded by people my age,who have come down to study and who are eager to form friendships...but I seem to be searching for some elusive quality in each of them.Can someone please tell me what's wrong with me?

The day before yesterday I called up a friend of mine.This guy(his name is Satya) has known me for around 17 years now.I bugged him for around an hour or so.This guy has given me some really useful advice at times when I was down(by the way,he had repeatedly told me not to alienate myself from people I really care about).On the day mentioned,I called him up for the express purpose of telling him about a problem which was bothering me.And they dont say for fun..."A friend in need is a friend indeed".He has helped me a great deal.No,I am not saying that I am not feeling lonely or depressed now-its just that I am able to cope with it better after my chat with him.Satya you are a real pal.I hope you read this some day...

Now coming back to the point,why did I tell this story?Because if it is going to take me another decade or so to form solid friendships...then I think I am destined to "Stay alone in a crowd"!Is somebody listening??or am I speaking to the walls?